So, You’re Separated – What Next?

So you’re separated – What Next?

You have decided to separate, so what next. Getting to the point of making the decision to separate is not always easy or straightforward, especially when children are involved. It can be a highly emotional and stressful time for you, your family and often your extended family as you start to navigate your new world and how that will look for you moving forward.

It can be overwhelming as you try to figure out what to do next, so here are a few steps to consider:

1. Take Care of yourself: It is so important to take time to look after yourself emotionally and physically. This can often feel impossible if you are juggling work, parenting and all the other responsibilities and pressures life throws at us. As parents, we are generally ‘wired’ to tune into everyone else’s needs and ignore our own – we like to fill the cups of others while ours are running on empty. Add the emotional stress of separating on to this, and it is likely you are feeling depleted and wrung out.  Consider seeking support from friends and family where you can & engage the services of a trusted counsellor or therapist  to help you process your emotions as you adjust to the changes in your life.

2. Develop a co-parenting plan: If you have children, where possible, work together to develop a co-parenting plan that outlines each parent’s responsibilities and schedules. This can help provide a stable and supportive environment for your children and avoid misunderstandings and confusion for you as co-parents.  Understanding that this is not always easy, try to consider each other’s views but most importantly structure your parenting arrangements to ensure the children’s support structures are not disrupted as they transition to this new family dynamic.

3. Assess your financial situation: Take stock of your finances and expenses and develop a budget that reflects your new financial situation. Consider consulting with a financial advisor or accountant to help you make informed decisions about your finances.

5. Identify practical matters: Address practical matters such as division of property, changing insurance policies, updating your will or estate plan, separating bank accounts if you have had joint accounts, changing beneficiaries on any accounts or polices, changing passwords on personal accounts and devices (for example – email, phone, banking, Apple ID, social media, Netflix/Streaming accounts), and updating your postal address.

6. Consider legal options: Consider seeking advice from a Family Lawyer about your legal options in relation to parenting matters, property/financial settlements and how to best protect your rights and interests.

7. Family Dispute Resolution: Consider engaging the services of a Family Dispute Resolution Practitioner to assist you in working through issues in dispute to avoid going down the path of litigation via lawyers and/or the Family Court.

8. Take things one step at a time: Remember that adjusting to a separation is a process, often akin to the grief process, and it’s important to take things slowly. Don’t be afraid to seek help or support as you navigate this new chapter in your life.

Remember that everyone’s situation is unique and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to separation. Take the time to assess your needs and goals, seek out the resources and support that can help you move forward in a positive and healthy way.